Benedictine Spirituality of Accountability, a Heart-to-Heart Talk

Monica,   Columbus, Ohio

What a precious night with the Hope on High people! Such a quietness and gentleness in these homeless people and especially in how they ask for something. They barely ask and only after you have been talking for a while. You can barely hear their voices, just above a whisper, that they almost say in passing, trailing off,.. something like, "Do you have any sterno to heat my tent, it's supposed to stay cold tonight," or "are there any heavy blankets?" All these things they are in DIRE need of too, but never push, never in demanding (except for Stanley -- ha ha --- long story).
I wanted to post snippets that spoke to me from a booklet one of my beloved Benedictine priests from "my" Archabbey in Indiana, St. Meinrad's, called "Accountability as a Heart to Heart Talk," by Fr. Mateo Zamora, OSB. I will just quote him. I also changed the order to read the most important part if you do not have time for longer. Just in time for Lent too! Praise Jesus.
"Although it [accountability] presents consequences for bad behavior, the "Rule of St. Benedict" actually provides us with a very positive and refreshing take on accountability, .... a heart-to-heart talk..:
'Listen carefully, my son, to the master's instructions, and attend to them with the ear of your heart. This is advice from a father who loves you; welcome it, and faithfully put it into practice' (RB Prol:1).'
The 'Rule' begins with a command: 'Listen!' I don't know about you, but whenever I am told to listen, it usually means that I am in trouble. Either I am in trouble or I am not paying attention...
It is interesting to note that the word 'obedience' is rooted in the Latin word 'audire,' which means 'to listen.' ... Accountability, then, as a discipline of mutual obedience, is first of all a practice of listening to one another.
'Listen carefully' (RB Prol:1)
The reason, I think, that some calls to accountability do not work is because, instead of a heart-to-heart talk, it is a mouth-to-ear talk.... this is counsel 'from a father who loves you.' (RB Prol:1).
The father is doing this not to make the son feel bad for doing bad. He is opening up his heart because he cares about him. He is concerned about what he is doing -- or not doing...
Why is it a heart-to-heart talk? It has to be a heart-to-heart talk because the topic is deeply personal. It involves one's behavior, one's faults, one's mistakes, those delicate details that nobody ever wants to discuss ...
Genuine accountability has to be a heart-to-heart talk because it involves hurts.... because there is a relationship that exists (child and father) and this relationship is very important to both.
.... because that is how love operates: not through the mouth or guts or brain or the liver (ha, ha, I liked that line), but through the heart.
In this model of Christian accountability from St. Benedict, both parties are willing to be vulnerable. They are opening up their hearts to one another. That is why it works. To be vulnerable here -- from the Latin "vulnus," which is translated as wound --means that they show their wounds to each other; they reveal their injuries.
Both have been wounded and the relationship itself has been damaged. They show their wounds to each other so that they can be tended to and healed.
Christ who 'humbled Himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross' (Phil. 2:8) We see our Lord hanging on the cross and there He bares not only His heart to us, but also all the wounds that our sinfulness has caused.
The Almighty has put his utter vulnerability on display on that cross to reassure each one of us that He is willing to do anything and suffer everything, if only we would be reconciled with Him. He opens up his Sacred Heart, not to demand justice, much less to exact vengeance, but rather to offer us mercy and forgiveness.
From that cross, the Lord invites us to a heart-to-heart talk. The question is: Are we ready? Are we ready to bare our hearts to Him?"
..this discipline of accountability ... can be a way of life, just as it has been for those who have followed the "Rule of St. Benedict" these 1,500 plus years.
[Finally, his Part 1)
Obedience is a blessing to be shown by all and to all. It is a blessing, or better yet, a benediction, which comes from the Latin verb "benedicere," which literally means to speak well of somebody, to commend another, to say something good to someone. Obedience is a blessing to be shown by by all and to all.... we owe it to everyone in the community.
When we forget that obedience is a blessing to be shown by all and to all, we start neglecting one another's feelings, one another's needs, and one another's dignity.
Christian accountability is a discipline of mutual obedience in a community of disciples. It means that everyone cares about everybody, and everyone looks out for everybody. It is a culture not of selfishness, but of selflessness. It is a discipline, the way of the disciple of Christ, for He said, 'This is how all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another' (Jn. 13:35).

These photos remind me of many of my friends on the south end.  No, they are not homeless, they usually live in tents, boarded up houses, sheds, make-shift shacks, and one even on a bench on the side of High St.

St. Francis: "Preach at all Times, Only Sometimes, Use Words"

        Monica,  Columbus, Ohio

       Beyond words was the experience last night with the homeless on Williams Rd., with the portable soup kitchen of Hope on High.  I went to be with my South side buddies, mainly the homeless who live in the woods close by, to simply sit and share lives at meal with each other.
       Aaron still struggles greatly with addiction, and all I did was listen to a litany, beautifully and eloquently spoken, of what has been taking place in the woods and his personal life through all this.  If he could only see how exquisite he is in the eyes of Jesus, which is what I prayed unceasingly while he was talking.  I have done this with him at least four or five times.  He said at the end, "Next time I see your smiling face, I am going to be clean and beginning a new relationship with my 17 year old daughter."
       Fred ("Santa") and Red, his girlfriend in a wheelchair from crushed bones in her feet (from a great height suicide attempt) were there. So glad to see them and get to catch up!  Scott came, whose girlfriend Harmony is in jail awaiting a sentencing for probation violation on March 1. He was just released the day before from two weeks in a facility for mental health (from missing her during her arrest).  I prayed with him, and ask all of you readers to please pray for Harmony.  She must call her probation officer every night at 6:15 to see if they should meet the next day.  Being homeless and having no cell phone makes this very difficult (and being surrounded by others who do not have cell phones -- and there are no payphones anymore!).
      Scott emphasized that the homeless are discriminated against every single day.  She was caught because she was breaking apart a very dangerous verbal fight between the friend and her boyfriend.  The neighbors called the police.  Pray for Harmony on March 1, please.
      "Baby," a huge man (tall and big), "fifteen years living as a homeless man," got so angry at the man I was eating and speaking with who was laughing at something separate that he pulled out a large wide knife and sat it on the table while he yelled at him some.  Scott stopped him, took his knife and put it in his coat, and almost started a real fight.  I stormed the heavens and they both took it outside the big tent and cleared it up.
      Viola was there and her boyfriend Tim! Tim broke his foot tripping on a cut-off small tree stump, and is on crutches (they were the ones living in the closet of a boarded up home).  I was able to bring four large trash bags of clothing from those who donated to the December parties we threw there.  Viola got new clothes, a coat, and a much needed blanket.  I gave them three propane cans to get them a few warm nights.  Such a sweet couple.  I gave propane to others as well, because it is still winter out there.
      Tyrell came and looks better than the last time I saw him, always smiling wide!  We sat and talked. Such a DOLL baby!! I get FAR more out of all this than they do!!  Michael did not show nor Tim Tom; and I was so sad. Tim is the one homeless even among them, without a tent, and Michael has serious spinal and other health issues. I hope they are okay, and I pray for them often.  Michael has the titanium rod along most of his spine, etc.
       Papa Bear came!!   He looks sooo different from December!  He's been very sick in the past couple of weeks.  He has lost so much weight and is weaker (in his seventies?).  Thanks to EDDIE BAUER for donating an additional 25-30 brand new winter coats!!!   All of them were taken and very well appreciated!  Papa Bear got the sassiest red and black ski jacket -- for UNDER his winter coat that was a jacket of jean material.  He said it felt much much better.
      Throughout the night I was able to take one to two groups "home" to the edge of the woods, at different openings, with all their new belongings.  My favorite trip was with Michelle, a woman I just met in her 50's whose been in these woods for a year with a 27 year old daughter, Mikaela.  We just sat at the edge of the woods and talked and talked about both our families. Words cannot describe the beauty of the conversation.  I always always pray in the Holy Spirit as I listen, and He always shows up.
     I feel God may be asking me to buy a house or two down there, with land, to possibly begin a little community of these homeless and "forgotten" people. It would be difficult for them to just be added to a middle class family, in a Christ Room that Dorothy Day promoted.  One reason is how different and even lonely they would feel apart from their friends and people who have shared their experiences.  They need community.
      They are SOOOO in need of everything though, and I want to REALLY help them, not simply say, "God bless, keep warm and well fed," as Jesus (or St. Paul?) warned in the Scriptures.  Not just to "preach" to them, or give them an experience of God then walk away, with such dire situations and circumstances.  I am speaking to myself as well.  I am guilty.
      Coming here once or twice a month and befriending them is just not enough for me at all.  Show me the way, Lord.  What do you want?
     Please pray for me!  And especially for all these people on the South side.  "We" - all 80-100 main BFF's in heaven and I - claim this South side area for Christ!  We bind and cast out anything of evil from all these woods (boy did Aaron have some stories), and all those whose mascot is the Marion-Franklin Red Devils, the school right by there that generations have gone to and heavily support!           Please God, help us claim this all back for you, especially any spirits of addictions, hopelessness, and atheism!  Come, Holy Spirit, come!!