WW II Pacifist of "Hacksaw Ridge," Desmond Doss, "New" Norm for Christ-Followers?

     WINTER NEWSLETTER   

By Monica,  The Lamb Catholic Worker      Columbus, Ohio

The real Desmond Doss

    There is a new movie in theatres called "Hacksaw Ridge" about a World War II conscientious objector, Desmond Doss, who wanted to go into battle and be a medic to save as many lives as he could.  He refused to even touch a gun; and ended up saving 75 men by hauling them to safety sometimes under a hail of fire.  "By their works you will know them."
      His character speaks volumes of what it would look like to follow Christ's "new command" modeling of Christian nonviolence by his refusal to bear arms and kill another, and by others subtleties in the movie.  One is trying to save Japanese fallen soldiers as well - a true "mark" of a Christian - of loving our enemy and doing only good to our persecutors.
    The sole time in the entire New Testament that Jesus used such strong and clear language that this action "will PROVE that you are sons and daughters of your heavenly Father," was when He gave the "new command" to love your enemies.  The only action that Jesus says will be your mark to be "called sons and daughters of your heavenly father" is in the beatitudes when He says, "Blessed are the peacemakers."
    That, and the crystal clear role-modeling of Christ and our first Church leaders, are what made our Catholic Church 100% pacifist for the first THREE HUNDRED YEARS.  The writings, modeling,  and traditions of Jesus, the Apostles, Tertullian, Origen, Maxmillian, St. Justin the Martyr, and others prove this.  See Fr. Richard McSorley's book, "The New Testament Basis of Peacemaking."
     Desmond's part is as bright as a city on a hill, his actions no different than they would be in heaven, as Christ calls all of us to be in the "Our Father," - "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven."
     While the movie is an eye-opener of the truthful grisliness of actual warfare, which Fr. McSorley emphasized as always "taking on a life of it's own," in horror, evil, and savagery, there is still an uneasiness of Desmond joining in the fray of the barbarism and killing of the enemy all around. It is also an eye-opener to the societal pressures of soldiering and the military as evident in a subtle artfully placed scene of Desmond describing basically how badly young men wanted to prove themselves through this and that a few of those he knew who were rejected by the military killed themselves.
       The backdrop of this era would have included unmentioned societal pressure from famous actors and actresses playing numerous military roles in movies, in songs, --- very very glamorous.  When a particular society or church glamorizes soldiering, the pressure can be great among the youth.

      Another key point is that there were other ways to end World War II.  My father always said that there will be no justification in heaven for all the firebombing we did knowing that Japan was going to surrender, nor over the nuclear bombing of Nagasaki - the incineration of the entire city of innocent civilians, the most Catholic city in Japan - after we saw the effects and horror of what we had just done in Hiroshima a couple of days before, with countless innocent women and children.
       At the movie's point of the war, the Japanese were now defending their country, and failed to do this in this battle (Okinawa).  This explains the Seppuku or Hara-Kiri "honorable" ritualistic Samurai death of the Japanese leader in the tunnels - another unsettling part of the movie involving the glorification of warriors/killers.  It was touching of Mel Gibson to include it though, the fact that these people were very similar to ourselves.
        Moreover, it is commendable to be willing to die for others, no doubt.  Jesus said that there is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friend.  Laying down one's life and killing many other lives who are someone's brother, son, cousin, friend, nephew, grandson,.. while laying down one's life to do it are two separate things though. Ghandi said, "There is a cause for which I would give my life, but no cause for which I am prepared to kill."
     Fr. George Zabelka, the chaplain over those who dropped the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki spent the rest of his life as a reluctant prophet preaching against being a part of all war, especially because modern war will always involve the nuclear possibility, especially among newer politicians who have said that they have no problem with "nukes."

     Our Catechism teaches us to try as hard as possible to avoid war altogether: "Because of the evils and injustices that accompany all war, the Church insistently urges everyone to prayer and action so that the divine Goodness may free us from the ancient bondage of war." (#2307: p. 615, publ 1995).
      Desmond's part in World War II is the same dilemma of St. Peter Clavers' help with the slaves and inadvertently the slave owners, at the major port of slave trade, Cartagena, in South America.  This was typically their first stop from Africa, and sometimes involved  the humiliation of wheeling and dealing for their sale.
       It is said that he baptized over 300,000 people in a 40-year span there and took care of their sicknesses, wounds and diseases tenderly, at this first stop for these victims' new future life of slavery. It is not known if he tried hard to stop the slave trade or not, nor if he believed it to be unstoppable and so, wanted to ease immense spiritual and physical human suffering.  It appears though, as taking meticulous care of sheep knowing they are being led to the slaughter.  While the genuine great care has intrinsic and moral value, being even a small part of the wider machine of what is going on also takes on moral dimensions.
      In many ways, it may have made the horrific, barbaric, and evil slave-trade more palpable and justifiable.  He spent most of his last days starved and very ill-treated by an ex-slave; and felt he deserved it for his sins.  His suffering may be completely unrelated to his actions, as many many saints' end of life suffering is simply to bring them into the cross of Christ. It reminds one though of John Newton, the slave trader shipmaster who wrote "Amazing Grace," after finally coming to realize the grave sin he was committing being even a small part of the slavery industry at all, with its cruelty in the name of greed.
      Desmond's father also suffered greatly for his "sins," with severe post-traumatic stress syndrome.  I was relieved to see that Gibson had included this as well.  He became a much more violent man from having soldiered in World War I, according to Desmond's mother ("If you could have only seen him before...").  What was not included was the extremely high suicide rate of veterans, with 5-7,000 returned veterans from our most recent war in Iraq killing themselves each year.
     Yes, great good can be done amidst grave evil, but at what point do you say that you will not be part of the overarching evil of murdering in war itself?  Would Jesus have used a gun to kill someone, even an enemy?  Would His apostles?  Would Jesus have even helped or enabled other people to kill their enemy or would he have stopped them?
     What did He say to Peter when he drew His sword?  He did not simply say, "Peter, this must be for now for the salvation of the world; I must suffer and die for peoples' sins."  He made a sweeping judgment on using the sword at all against another person harmfully -- "Those who live by the sword will die by the sword."  Peter was even using it in self-defense, or defense of Christ.

     The most touching part of the movie, to me, was how much Desmond read the little Bible his wife Dorothy gave him. My father taught us what his mother taught him - from her Methodist and Catholic convert roots.  This was that if we want to know how to be in this world, if we want to always do what is right and always avoid what is truly evil, we need be SURE to always heed two major things.  These are: the red print, the words of Christ (that in her Bible were red) and the Ten Commandments.
     For the very last part of Advent and hopefully as a yearly tradition, my fervent prayer is that Catholics will take upon themselves to read - within a one- to two-week period - an entire Gospel, to truly truly know what only Christ himself lived, taught, and promoted. It could be during Advent or Lent when we draw ever closer to Jesus, the Word made flesh.
     Our understanding sometimes gets very confused with ways of old that He himself contrasted - "before it was to love your countrymen and hate your enemy BUT NOW I say love your enemies..." "Before it was you cannot commit adultery, BUT NOW I say that he who looks with lust at a woman has committed adultery in his heart..."
       He furthered everything so that we must strive, hard as it may be, to be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect. It is interesting that He states this just after commanding that we love our enemy and do only good to those who hate us. They are connected - "being perfect as the Heavenly Father" and loving our enemies. It is the new criteria, of the New Way. That is the mark we shoot for, in our actions, especially those involving the life and death of sacred human life.  These harder teachings and points of emphasis in Jesus' words and actions are truly the most difficult, profound, and beautiful!
     Can you imagine if we Christ followers listened to Christ fully and by our works we were known as Desmond Doss is known?  Can you imagine how happy He would be if our actions looked strinkingly different from the world's, like a city on a hill?  To not cling to "human tradition" but solely to Christ and His Way with its new commands?
     Can you imagine what he would think as He looks down from Heaven and as sees His followers only loving their enemies, only doing good to those who hate them, only blessing those who curse them... seeing us leap for joy when we are persecuted and our name is denounced as evil, all because of living out His way?  Come Lord Jesus, come!
 

       

Pacifist Scripture: Convicting and Compelling on the Feast of St. Benedict

Summer Newsletter 2016,  Lamb Catholic Worker 
                                                     By Monica,  The Lamb Catholic Worker, Columbus, Ohio

     In the Divine Office Liturgy of the Hours for today, on the feast of St. Benedict (Dorothy Day was a Benedictine Oblate) is the following prophecy from Isaiah - the build-up lends to its power and truth:

"In the days to come,
the mountain of the Lord's house
shall be the highest mountain
and raised above the hills.

All the nations shall stream toward it;
many peoples shall come and say:
'Come, let us climb the Lord's mountain,
to the house of the God of Jacob,
that he may instruct us in his ways,
and we may walk in his paths.'

For from Zion shall go forth instruction,
and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.

He shall judge between the nations,
and impose terms on many peoples.
They shall beat their swords into plowshares
and their spears into pruning hooks;
one nation shall not raise the sword against 
another,
nor shall they train for war again.

O house of Jacob come,
let us walk in the light of the Lord!"
                                  - Isaiah 2:2-5

 The link below is partly an interview with Tom Siemer (Monica's Father) promoting beating our drone "swords" into plowshares:         
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqXLR0GZrac

       On this feast of my beloved St. Benedict, the "Father of Western Monasticism," there is so much to be appreciated in his message and way of life.  A key snippet on the walls of most Catholic Worker Houses is his concept of "Ora et Labora," the balance between work and prayer.

       In preaching at Christ the King this morning, Fr. Sylvester spoke of how St. Benedict wanted all to not only live this balanced life but to remove distractions of all kinds in order to do so.  We have to nurture our inward life, nurture the love we have for Jesus and our devotion to Him. In the Benedictine Oblate booklet mailed to me during Lent (in preparation for my oblation) entitled, "Clothed, in the New Self, Christ is All in All," Fr. Adrian Burke, OSB, also adds to be true to your true self in part, by stripping off the old self with its practices (becoming dead to sin), being "renewed in knowledge according to the image of the Creator," and putting on Christ, or as he quotes Thomas Merton: putting on our "true self in Christ."

       Some of the subtitles speak of Benedictine spirituality in this powerful booklet, "Benedictine Life is Life in Christ" are the following:" "Prayer in Solitude," "Praise and Thanksgiving," "Detach, Detach, Detach!" "Humility -- Our Truth," "Benedictine Self-realization," "The Pattern of Our Life," "Retreat to Prayer," "Return to Service," "Blessed are the Peacemakers," "Pax," "and "If You Would be my Disciple."  Also, our "motto" for Benedictine Oblates is: "Seeking God in Everyday Life," and I would add, all day long. During a recent confession with an older wise priest, Fr. Emmanuel Bertrand, I was told to try to: "Cultivate serenity and staying always in the presence of God, every minute of every day, in everything."  These traits and virtues are more than evident in Dorothy Day, a Benedictine Oblate.  I have a lonnnng way to go!

      Here is a gem under "Pax": "Devout Christians don't go out to make peace, ... Rather, we go inward to receive it, to find it, and then having found it, to share it outwardly with the world by radiating that peace ..." (p. 15). Our dear Fr. Meinrad Brune, Director of Benedictine Oblates out of the St. Meinrad Archabbey in Indiana, described in a lenten letter a beautiful tradition that he shared with neighbors while growing up that seems to me analagous to the spiritual (and material!) clearing out necessary.

     "When my two older brothers and I were boys, there were three families on our block who would help each other to do 'spring cleaning.'  We would spend a day at each of the three houses.  Mothers and children would all have to help.  The fathers (before they left for work) would move out all the mattresses, carpets, and rugs to be aired out in the fresh air.  Once those things were removed, we began a thorough cleaning of the entire house....  cleansing and simplifying [and I would add organizing and freeing ones life!]." 

        I cannot imagine that openness to allow others to experience the inner clutter, grime, and science specimens in the deepest recesses of each others' homes, amazing!  How accepting and freeing this whole experience must have been! How HOLY!  It would be a great annual tradition.

           

             In the spirit of Dorothy Day, Peter Maurin, St. Francis of Assissi, and Pope Francis, my teensy attempt at becoming more poor is to try, to TRY, to go a year without a car.  I have already gone about two months, borrowing cars to drive at times.  I am stopping this as well.  If I cannot get a ride somewhere, I simply will not go.  I look forward to the day of embracing "Lady Poverty," as Peter Maurin called it, or "voluntary poverty" as it is sometimes called.  Dorothy always said, "If you can get used to bedbugs and lice, you can do the Catholic Worker!"  I don't want to go that far yet!

"We would have no poverty in the world,

if everyone tried to become the poorest."

                            -- Peter Maurin

        

       The frustration level has been high and this in my summer off as a teacher! It will be much more of a challenge in the school year but I work probably less than 2 miles from home, and most of my world is this far away as well. There are bus lines though, and a spectacular sturdy bike my sister Lisa gave me last year.   Already I feel so much more healthy, more alive and one with nature all around me, and more spiritually hungry.  We'll see if it lasts!

       

        The spiritual clearing is even more critical for an Oblate or for anyone. A very Benedictine thing to do is to draw oneself inward, where God truly is, to attempt to catch that wisp of smoke, deliberate attuneness to that still small voice of God as described in the Old Testament. Eucharistic Adoration before our actual Savior Himself is one of the greatest quiet, holy places for this, going into the desert with only God, as Christ did. 

        I am not talking about reading or praying set prayers during this time.  Challenge yourself to have nothing to read (bring pen and paper to write!) and of pouring one's heart out, one's deepest longings, fears, praises, desires, inspirations, ...  If you have never stayed for two or three or more hours (my favorite), it is sooo worth it!  This is not wasted time!  Also, it is much more of a "Desert Father" experience when so much can truly, truly come from the deep recesses within, bubbling up to the surface perhaps for the first time.  "Be still ..."

      In the Divine Office book of "Christian Prayers," pp. 2028-2029, St. Augustine writes the following: 

      "To pray for a longer time is not the same as to pray by multiplying words, as some people suppose.  Lengthy talk is one thing, a prayerful disposition which lasts a long time is another.  For it is even written in reference to the Lord himself that he spent the night in prayer and that he prayed at great length [off before dawn, going alone by the wayside]. Was he not giving us an example by this?"  and "To spend much time in prayer is to knock with a persistent and holy fervor at the door of the one whom we beseech.  This task is generally accomplished more through sighs than words, more through weeping than speech.  He places our tears in his sight, and our sighs are not hidden from him ..."

       I admit that I have been perplexed at exactly how the Holy Spirit wants me to pray for exceedingly important things, when surrender, receptiveness and submission to the Will of the Father feels the opposite of pressing or begging God for this or that.  These yearnings, pleading, and crying out seem indeed, acceptable, though when we always end the sentence, as Jesus modeled, with  "not my will but Thy Will be done." 

      St. Padre Pio put it this way:  When we die, we will be presented, in a gold chalice, all of our tears."  He also said that when he dies, his real mission will begin!  So I ask about 30 people from heaven to pray with me and for me every  time I sit down to pray at length in any way (even mass).  He's working for my prayers, calling down the Holy Spirit upon me, to pray in the manner that God wants, and not through my feeble attempts. 

     A final note on passionate prayer is from St. Claude de la Colombiere in the book, Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence (p. 117-118). 

      

       "If after a year we find  that our prayer is as fervent as it was at the beginning, then we need not doubt about the success of our efforts, and instead of losing courage after so long a delay, we should rejoice because we can be certain that our desires will be all the more fully satisfied for the length of time we have prayed."

      And "...it took St. Monica (;) sixteen years to obtain the conversion of Augustine, but the conversion was entire and far beyond what she had prayed for. ...Think what would have happened had she given up hope after a couple of years, after ten or twelve years, when ... her son grew worse instead of better (118) ... " Your every word is numbered and what you receive will be in the measure of the time you have spent asking.  Your treasure is piling up and suddenly one day it will overflow to an extent beyond your dreams (119).."  She had prayed for Augustine to stop being promiscuous and he embraced chastity.  She begged that he come back into the Catholic Church and witnessed him  becoming a bishop!  She was desperate that he turn from his heretical ways and he became a pillar of the Church, defending it in numerous ways. 

     It continues: "Why he should ask us to pray, when he knows what we need before we ask him, may perplex us if we do not realize that our Lord and God does not want to know what we want (for he cannot fail to know it) but wants rather to exercise our desire through our prayers, so that we may be able to receive what he is preparing to give us.  His gift is very great indeed, but our capacity is too small and limited to receive it.  That is why we are told: Enlarge your desires, do not bear the yoke of unbelievers.  The deeper our faith, the stronger our hope, the greater our desire, the larger will be our capacity to receive that gift, which is very great indeed. ... We pray always with unwearied desire. ... The more fervent the desire, the more worthy will be its fruit.  ... The Apostles tell us 'pray without ceasing'."

Saints Louis and Zelie Martin, parents of St. Teresa de Lisieux
(far right) cultivated deep prayer lives in their many daughters
 - five became religious sisters- getting up at 5:00 for daily mass 

         One risks, like Christ, in quiet time of solitude with Christ in Eucharistic Adoration, the stark aloneness, nothingness but our thoughts, our being, with our Maker.  One also experiences the appreciated immense filling up of the soul, as a driving thunderstorm in an arid desert. The contrast lends to the experience, the seeking God's face, God's voice, the voice of the Beloved. 

        Dorothy Day seems to paint eloquently what happens when one emerges:

    "...the seeds in the desert, the seed scattered by the solitary, Charles de Foucauld, those who go out into all the poverty-stricken places in the world and work for their daily bread and live the life of a contemplative in the world....and the greatness means the overcoming of temptation and laying down one's life for one's fellows ... the victory of love over hatred and mistrust." (from a column of Dorothy's reprinted in "The Catholic Radical," Worchester).

       One cannot speak of poverty without the life witness of the saint of whom our beloved Pope Francis is named after:  St. Francis of Assissi.  His life legacy of living in poverty is well-described in his article on the Catholic Encyclopedia website.  From a former seminarian who nearly became a Franciscan Brother Minor, he said that Francis, like Dorothy Day, was torn between the contemplative life with his intense communion with God (ecstaties that would render him like a corpse, the stigmata, or actual physical wounds of Christ in the hands, feet, and side, etc) and with the active life, going out to preach, take care of the sick, etc. 

      The story goes that he was so torn that he asked God for two different people from different places to give him an answer to this question for his life, because he was far more drawn to the contemplative life than to the active one.  Sure enough, God sent two separate people to say the same thing to him clearly - that he is to have the active life among people, among the wider Church, so in dire need of his way of holiness in that era. St. Francis' way of life so surpassed what was known that even members in his own order tried to have him kicked out of it! He was pressed and pressed to have a rule, and he finally came up with this: "Yes, here is my rule - the folly of the Cross."   

    One reason why the picture above is one of my favorites is because, like Christ, his life was not easy at all as shown!  It was far far more stressful and challenging than we can imagine.  It even looks as though he has an eye infection, his clothes are very tattered, there is a certain sadness in his eyes.  Yet, like Christ, his radical love and humility was and were so far beyond those around him, that he was misunderstood, rejected, and sometimes even hated.  This, we would say, is what we are seeking most at The Lamb Catholic Worker:  contemplatives reverently loyal to their Catholic Church (Bride of Christ) and to the Chair of St. Peter, Pope Francis, willing to embrace voluntary poverty in the deep inner city (and/or on a Catholic Worker sister farm).  Like Dorothy Day, we are hoping for those willing to look beyond the judgment and flaws of others to see only Christ, to have eyes and ears for His voice alone in the poor. 

    Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta once put it this way:

"We have done

so much with so little,

for so long,

we now deserve

to do everything

with nothing."

 Happenings of the Lamb     

    Well, nothing to tell in terms of taking in the homeless yet.  There are very interested people though, more so than in a while!  Come Lord Jesus.  St. Francis of Assissi once said, "Sanctify yourself and you sanctify society."  That's what I am sticking to right now as I go back to D.C. for another few weeks to take care of my Dad.

      On a very positive note, more and more people are beginning to take on as part of their way of life, besides daily mass and rosary, the Divine Office of the priests.  Eleven people were praying it together in the Guadalupe Chapel at Christ the King after the 7:00 mass a week and a half ago.  Fr. Coleman encourages every single person to do so in many many homilies, that we are a priestly people needing this to keep us following Christ faithfully.  It also has a beautiful prayer for every single morning, the Gospel Canticle of Zechariah (St. John the Baptist's father) which ends: ".. and guide our feet into the way of peace."  It's right there!  Some who pray this still guide our feet into the way of war, but perhaps if many more people do so, we will indeed create more "John the Baptists" (the Canticle of Zecharia is one addressed to the infant John the Baptist), heralding Christ and guiding "our feet into the way of peace."

      I will also say that any parts of the Old Testament within the Divine Office that seem to contradict Christ's message and way (as he contrasted many ways of old with His new way - "...before it was an eye for an eye,.. but now I say love your enemies..."), I substitute in my heart what Christ would say consistent with His words and actions.  For example instead of praying, "... in the Lord's name I crushed them," I pray "in the Lord's name I pray for them" as Jesus commanded and modeled to do with our enemies.

       Keep the prayers coming strong for The Lamb Catholic Worker!  I feel we are on the brink.  Pray for Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin's canonization too!  Also pray, on this feast of St. Benedict, for more Third Order Benedictines, or Benedictine Oblates, like Dorothy Day.  Amazingly, you can be as young as fifteen and it is inter-denominational (it's true!).  St. Benedict, pray for us!

       When I get to whining about all the walking and trips by bike I have to make, I think of the Montgomery Bus Boycott which entailed well over a year of walking almost everywhere for people who had to perform hard labor each day too.  This was bravely undertaken in order to end the discrimination laws on buses.  Women older than myself would sometimes walk for almost two hours to work, clean all day, and walk home again!  The task was daunting amidst deaths and many many threats.  They pushed onward though, healthier, stronger, and more determined with each passing day partly because they walked so much!

      

          I also think of Harriet Tubman, the Moses of the people, who went back into the deep south 17 times - mostly by foot - to bring people to freedom, to "set the captives free." This was with a $50,000 bounty on her head, a serious ankle issue from youth and black outs from a heavy weight that had been thrown at her head while defending a young  man about to be whipped. She said, "I freed a thousand slaves and I would have freed a thousand more if they knew they were slaves."  Pray for us Harriet!  We, like you, want to "set the captives free," especially those who only know captivity (who do not realize they are enslaved).

      By the way, my ESL student Michael and I wrote a compelling letter, dated Dec. 18, 2014, to President Barack Obama to have Andrew Jackson removed immediately from the twenty dollar bill.  Three months later a new organization sprung up called Women on the Twenty.  I believe it was Michael's letter and push that someone saw and ran with, personally, and we are excited, even if he never gets the credit!

The Spirit is Moving! Fr. Daniel Berrigan, Pacifist, Presente!

       By Monica, The Lamb Catholic Worker, Columbus, Ohio.
       The Holy Spirit is blowing in sweeping mountainous strokes within the Catholic Church and in our world with several amazing and awesome (in the true sense of the word) happenings!
       I applaud the Catholic Times here in Columbus for printing the Catholic News Service release of the life and legacy of the famous 94 yr. old Jesuit priest, Reverend Daniel Berrigan, who, more than anything else in his life, adored his Jesuit priesthood of 54 years.  I spoke with him 9 years ago about both a movie screenplay I had written and the Lamb Catholic Worker - and the gentleness and sweetness of his little holy disposition came through the phone!  He said, "Oh God bless you for what you are trying to do!"

Rev. Richard McSorley, S.J. (Monica's mentor) and Rev. Daniel Berrigan, S.J.

         [The above picture was taken by Monica of Rev. Richard McSorley, S.J. and Rev. Daniel Berrigan, S.J. at the Pacem en Terris award given to Dan at the Georgetown Center for Peace Studies in the early 1980's].
       These were some of the words of his nieces and nephews at his death:  "Dan taught us that every person is a miracle, every person has a story, every person is worthy of respect...  And we are so aware of all he did and all he was and all he created in almost 95 years of life lived with enthusiasm, commitment, seriousness and almost holy humor."  "The 'heavy burden' of peacemaking will continue among many people,' the family added, saying, 'We can all move forward Dan Berrigan's work for humanity.'"

        With Brother Louis, the famous Trappist monk, Thomas Merton, as his mentor, Dan Berrigan engaged in several acts of civil disobedience that landed him in jail and prison for years, even with arthritis in his spine.  It began with his outrage of children and many innocent Vietnamese civilians in huts and villages being burned alive with napalm during the Vietnam War by U.S. soldiers.  He joined others to break into a government office holding draft files of those having been drafted and forced against their choice, to napalm others in Vietnam.  They pulled out draft files to the parking lot  outside, and napalmed them.

 

     The following is part of my very favorite poetic writing of Dan, which was part of the Catonsville 9 statement in their defense of burning the draft files of those forced to kill.  This was at a time when the idea of a priest breaking the law and going against law and order seemed a terrible witness to many. The lawlessness was too much to bear. This was part of their (his) reply:

Our apologies, good friends,
for the fracture of good order,
the burning of paper
instead of children, 
the angering of the orderlies
in the front parlor 
of the charnel house. 
We could not, so help us God,
do otherwise.
For we are sick at heart,
our hearts give us no rest
for thinking of the
Land of Burning Children.
And for thinking of that
other Child, of whom
the poet Luke speaks. 
It is in Him that we put
our trust, and in no other.
     Fr. Berrigan went on to confront the evils of creating, investing in ($ multi-billions), manufacturing, and potentially using, again, weapons of mass destruction, or nuclear weapons. He began the "Plowshares" movement based on the Old Testament quote from Isaiah:
 "And they will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.
            Nation will not lift up sword against nation,
            And never again will they learn war."
       On Sept. 9, 1980, Fr. Berrigan and six other demonstrators were arrested after entering the General Electric missile plant in Pennsylvania, and beating on the nose cones (without the weapons inside), of intercontinental ballistic missiles. They then poured blood over classified defense plans there.  I was at the courthouse outside on sentencing day praying with fellow Catholic Workers for them.  It was quite a sacrifice on their parts, and Fr. Berrigan spent years in prison for it, even with painful arthritis of the spine.
        There have been many other Plowshares actions done around the country against not only weapons of mass destruction, but also exposing the direct link of nuclear energy and power plants to weapons of mass destruction.  The "spent" radioactive rods of the core can be converted into weapons grade plutonium and into weapons of mass destruction against entire cities of innocent people.  Even the term of the man-made element on the Periodic Table, Plutonium, had to be named after the god of hell in ancient Greece, Pluto.  This is used in weapons of mass destruction.  To think that it was not part of God's plan of creation, we brought "hell" to earth with our own hands.
       At Hiroshima, Japan, he wrote the following poem.

Shadow on the Rock

At Hiroshima there’s a museum

and outside that museum there’s a rock,

and on that rock there’s a shadow.

That shadow is all that remains

of the human being who stood there

on August 6, 1945

when the nuclear age began.

In the most real sense of the word,

that is the choice before us.

We shall either end war and the nuclear arms race

now in this generation,

or we will become shadows on the rock. 

     

Fr. George Zabelka in the middle with white beard, Dad, right.

      

         Fr. George Zabelka, the military chaplain over Paul Tibbits of Columbus, Ohio who was the main pilot of the "Enola Gay," the plane that dropped the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, had a milestone conversion of heart to Christian nonviolence (of our early Church history of the first 300 years). At first he was as gung-ho as Paul Tibbits, long after the incineration of so many innocent lives. It was Rev. Emmanuel Charles McCarthy who helped bring about his change of heart.

         He explained how our earliest most pure roots had been 100% pacifist for a very very long time. He also explained how most of the destruction of lives and cities of Europe in World War I and II was mostly Christians upon Christians - many times Catholics upon Catholics! He spoke of how Christ taught us to love our neighbor as ourselves (all outside of oneself is one's neighbor) as well as even to love our enemies (!). It is not possible to love and kill the same person at the same time. If God can make His sun and rain fall on the good and bad alike (as in Scripture), so great and equal handed is His love for ALL, made in His own image and likeness, then who are we to be above God?

         Once converted, Fr. George Zabelka went on the be an outspoken advocate for Christian nonviolence and nuclear disarmament. He and my father marched across Ohio together in the early 80's.

         My father, peace activist Tom Siemer, a Navy veteran, has spent the past 40+ years working tirelessly against weapons of mass destruction and for Christan nonviolence. He had previously spent 23 years working as a defense contractor in the military industrial complex (money-making with war products). He nearly died of cirrhosis of the liver, and given only a short time to live, from his guilt-ridden alcoholism over his part of the war machine. He asked God to spare him and promised to dedicate the rest of his life working for peace.
         The dynamite inventor/maker had the same crisis when he was thought to have died, and his obituary praised how he brought the explosive and destructive power of weapons to such a higher degree. He spent the rest of his life working for peace as well. His name was Arthur Nobel. My father has worked very hard for the past 40+ years to make up for his past. In fact, I have filled two thick binders of the newspaper articles and stories of protests, arrests, marches, and even a documentary centered around him called "Gods of Metal."
         He was more recently arrested for throwing red paint on the above mentioned "Enola Gay" airplane at the National Air and Space Museum on Washington, D.C. to symbolize the massive loss of innocent human lives at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan. Fr. McSorley, S.J. had taught him (even though he knew this): "He who chooses the lesser of two evils soon forgets he chose evil in the first place." There is always a third choice. Dad made a statement with the following: "...B-29 bombers were used to firebomb all other cities in Japan, killing over three million Japanese civilians. To praise the technology of the B-29 [and that of nuclear warheads] is like praising Hitler's poison of the gas chambers."

     

     
        My father saw the Enola Gay more recently in an exhibit at the Dulles Airport and the tour guide explained, "And this spot is where a protester broke a glass of red paint to symbolize the massive loss of innocent life that day." There is hope! While Dorothy Day did not herself believe in nor participate in civil disobence involving the harm or destruction of persons or possessions belonging to another ("Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and that the end never justifies the means, the means and ends are equally holy), she came to respect people with the mentality who would say, destroy the Nazi files of those Jewish people that they are about to remove from their homes and send off to work (death) camps. All that was done to Jewish people in Catholic Germany was completely legal, even though inhumane, unethical, and immoral.

         Fr. Daniel Berrigan said in an interview for The Nation in 2008 the following: "Dorothy Day taught me more than all the theologians." Bravo to Cardinal Timothy Dolan for stepping up her cause for canonization in his April 19 article on the Archdiocese of New York website! He wants to press for interviews through the end of this year with those who knew her, attesting to her holiness of life.
        This was one month after I sent the medical records of my two surgeries with a cover letter to the priest collecting Dorothy Day information stationed at the New York office. We cannot find another survivor besides myself of anyone who has undergone this dangerous and risky procedure (of donating 59% of my liver to my nephew), requiring a second emergency surgery 3-5 days after, surviving. I relied on Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin's intercessory prayers. Because they helped me, hopefully this data will help the canonization process for both of them.
         Below is a picture Abby took of me last summer at the Mayo. She was my caregiver who was truly put through the ringer day and night! This was especially so when she had to keep a secret that I was to die, I believed, offering my life for Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin's canonization (coming through someone else) and for the Lamb Catholic Worker to begin in Columbus.

        Why is The Lamb Catholic Worker taking so long to begin? The intercessory prayers of Moses and Abraham have been added to that of Mary, St. Joseph, Dorothy Day, Peter Maurin and many others! Abraham had to wait approximately 15 more years, in old age, for Sara to conceive after being told he will be the father of many nations and peoples as numerous as the stars. Moses had it the worst though! He had to wait 40 years to get to the promised land, through harsh desert conditions involving many deaths, thirst, hunger, serpent bites, fatigue, and most of all, doubt of many around him (and probably of himself at times). I presume that was hardest of all with decades of time passing. I would have given up after 3 months in so dreadful of conditions with little provisions.
         What Fr. Schalk always says, to encourage me, is "Persevere!" What Fr. Denis Kigozi says is, "the Will of God is in the present, is only right in front of you. Looking back at regrets or forward with doubts and fears, this is not the Will of God. He puts right in your path and in your heart, what you are to do right here and right now."
        I will say that Benedictine crosses and Benedictine medals, blessed in the proper way with Benedictine prayers and holy water, are powerful! It is what our Vatican trained exorcists use against the evil one and his followers. Yes, these principalities truly do exist and the spiritual battle is going on constantly all around us. We do indeed need tools as channels of God's protection, to keep us from spiritual harm. St. Benedict tried to bring the level of holiness of higher levels of monasticism to the world and all the powers of hell tried to stop him. He was given these prayers, this medal and the Benedictine cross for special added protection. I recommend it!
         Many happenings give hope though! The fact that Dorothy Day is in the spotlight again, and we may have an answer after the end of this year about her moving forward to "Venerable" from "Servant of God" in the steps of canonization is marvelous. Also, the fact that it was a unanimous vote to open her cause for canonization of every U.S. Catholic bishop, archbishop, and cardinal in the United States a few years ago shows that the Spirit is moving strong.
          I gave my first talk at St. Mary Magdalene Church on Dorothy Day and the Catholic Worker Movement in March, with great encouragement. I have had priests over the years ask me to come and give a talk on her, but I decline because we are not doing it yet. I said yes only to see many faces at my alma mater.

        Moreover, people ask me about the progress all the time, wanting to volunteer once it gets going (a list of about 100 people!). The fact that our Catholic Times included this article about Fr. Daniel Berrigan gives much hope too! Many people do not know that Pope Emeritus Benedict talked of Dorothy Day two different times of day in his last day as pope, so badly did he want her name (and cause) remembered into the next papacy. This did not make it into many Catholic papers. The Holy Spirit is indeed moving, through the intercessory prayers of Mother Mary, St. Joseph, Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin.
         Another sign of hope: the Spirit has also been moving in the secular world! At one of the schools I have taught at, during the Winter Concert and to honor Martin Luther King Jr, the Columbus City School children (K-5 grades) belted out at the top of their lungs an anti-war song from the Isaiah quote above. Some day these songs will be sung at Catholic school functions too!
 Gonna layyy dowwwn my sword and shield,
Down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside.
Gonna layyy dowwwn my sword and shield,
Down by the riverside,
Ain't gonna stuuuuudy warrrr no morrrre.
I ain't gonna study war no more.
I ain't gonna study war no more.
I ain't gonna stuuuudy warrrr noooo morre.
I ain't gonna study war no more.
I ain't gonna study war no more.
I ain't gonna stuuuudy warrrr noooo morre.
     A final note of hope for the world is the Holy Spirit moving strongly through my family, extended family, and especially through the Catholic Church in Columbus!  In 2017 it is the 50 anniversary of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal, and much of this outpouring and outgrowth of faith in younger people's lives stem from their "old time charismatic" parents and grandparents, myself included!  I am 43 years in the Charismatic Movement and it is far from dead!
    Pope Francis was fairly neutral on this movement until he went to a mass where tens of thousands broke into intense, spirit-filled "tongues" at the consecration.  He felt, "Whooaa, there really is something to this!" He has been very supportive.  Just like when the Apostles and Mary in the upper room called out to receive the Holy Spirit, and His swooshing rush came through, so He does again and again and again.  Dorothy Day had even encouraged to become a part of a charismatic group, as Msgr. Marv Mottet, overseeing this Catholic Worker.
     One last example of hope for the world: the holiness of life of many of my nieces and nephews and children (and their friends).  These are people who love to get to daily mass, like Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin, who get to Eucharistic Adoration at least once or twice a week, who pray many rosaries each week, have a fair amount of religious reading, pray a lot, and are very helpful to others. Most have gone several times in the summer to a rural poor Appalachian area in Kentucky/Portsmouth, Ohio with the Appalachia Project for a week.  They build room additions for needy families, fix plumbing, paint, even chop wood for the winter.  It is sort of a mini-Peace Corps right here.
     Nine have served for a 10-month stint with NET, the National Evangelization Team, and one additional one with Christ in the City in Denver, being one with the homeless people on the streets at night.  They are excited for the possibility of this Catholic Worker getting started, to help where they can.
     Six high schoolers have contacted the vocations office to become priests from the east side church where my son, Josh, and my niece Abby (my main caregiver at the Mayo) have been youth ministers for a while.  Heidi and Jotham (niece and nephew) have also been youth ministers there.  Abby recently got married (April 15). Her first date with her husband was last year, at a morning daily mass, followed by a rosary at Eucharistic Adoration.  Rumor has it that their first real kiss was on the altar a year later.  Abby and Matt were recently blessed by Pope Francis, their dream of dreams for a honeymoon.  The Holy Spirit is moving!

 

Touching the Foot of Christ on the Cross: Spring 2016 Newsletter, Special Lenten Issue

 The Lamb Catholic Worker

Touching the Foot of Christ on the Cross
Spring 2016 Lenten Issue

 By Monica Siemer, LCW, Columbus, Oh.  Please pass this along to people!

     I had an out-of-body experience at the Mayo Clinic in early June of 2015 that has taken me this long (almost 8 mos.) to try to capture in words, to attempt to clarify, or even to understand. This intense and alarming experience cannot be subjected to words or boxed into words, which has been part of the delay, as well as illiciting a horror in me of its memory, equaled to a memory of simultaneous intense, agape-love ecstacy, in an almost mystical sense.  I am glad to have delved deeply into St. John of the Cross before (The Ascent to Mount Carmel and Dark Night of the Soul) 3 yrs ago on a 3-week silent retreat, to begin to grasp and digest this incident. 

      Having been nudged for quite a while by the Holy Spirit to try to write about it, the final push was at mass at St. Patrick’s today where we perch on the edge of another beautiful Lenten season.  The Dominican priest, on celebrating the feast of Blessed Catherine Ricci, reminded us of the power of meditating at length on the passion of Christ, particularly of Him on the Cross (one Gospel has this being for six hours, not three) in excruciating, writhing agony, suffering for all of our sins and sinful living, that of the whole world, to set us free.

     Basically, I believe that God allowed me to touch the foot of Christ on the Cross, and for 8-10 seconds, maybe 15, as long as I could stand without letting go, I was allowed to share in SOME of the intense swirling conglomerate of pain and love that enveloped Him during His hours of “defeat” and triumph on the Cross.

     I had once seen a detective show where there was a gory graphic scene of a 20 year old woman who had been nailed to crude cross beams with large nails in her hands and feet, and was found the next day.  It was shocking.  I realized then how I had become somewhat numbed or used to seeing Christ on the Cross and had lost the true sense and appreciation of the intensity and torture of Christ’s torment on the Cross.

     For those who have not read past articles, I had donated 59% of my liver to a relative in end-stages liver disease in a surgery on June 9.  There were complications, then a fully ruptured bowel (technically the secum leading to the colon) and a second emergency surgery performed 4 ½ days later, having to be left somewhat open for several weeks.  The convalescence has been long, with almost six months off of work with many complications, and is still taking place (hence another reason for the delay in this newsletter and writings).

     I will admit that I went to the Mayo as a coward.  I was terrified and did believe that God was possibly asking my life for the sake of The Lamb Catholic Worker to begin here and for Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin’s canonization, besides saving a relative's life.  While I said “yes,” I was more and more scared the closer the date came.  It was not until the very day before surgery that this lessened some, when the Gospel was the same as what I had planned for my funeral, the beatitudes.  This felt as a a gentle nod to me that all was in His hands totally and I could be at peace.  This is not the life anyways, the real life is to come!

     In my weeks leading up to leaving for the Mayo, the fear had become so intense (certainly tangled in  and magnified by menopausal hormones) that I went to The Book Loft in German Village to find any kind of relief in the religious section.  I had gone to MANY Eucharistic Adorations, and they helped to appease it while I was there, but as soon as my foot was outside, it all came flooding back.  More than anything, I was ashamed at how scared I was and wanted to pretend to be brave, or to REALLY BE brave.

     Only two things caught my eye in the few minutes I stayed at the bookstore.  One was simply a book cover that said, “Living Courageously:  You Can Do Anything, Just Do It Afraid.”  That was it!  It IS courageous to do something anyways, even as a scaredy-cat, so I convinced myself. I just wanted to take a big straw and suck His strength and His braveness into me.

       The second thing I found was truly amazing and perfect.  It was a short story of an orphanage during the Korean War.  It had been hit directly by bombing and corrugated metal and parts were everywhere.  Underneath everything was a 4 year old girl with a severed leg, bleeding to death.  The doctors asked all the orphan children that were her blood type if one would come forward and give them their blood or she would die.  A little 6 year old boy finally stepped forward.  They began taking his blood and he started to cry.  He was asked if it hurt and he said no.  They continued and he cried so hard he was wailing.  They stopped and said he did not have to if he was afraid or if it hurt, and he said, “I am NOT afraid, keep going.”  They did and he screamed and screamed. 

     When finished they asked him why he was crying so hard if he was not afraid and it did not hurt much.  He said that he thought he had to give her all his blood, and that he would die instead.  They asked him, “WHY would you do that?!  Why would you be willing to give her all of your blood?”  He said, “She is my friend.”

      I felt God’s grace pour over me that it is okay if I am not this perfect martyr, but a big baby.  As I walked out of the bookstore, a beautiful sight unfolded before my eyes.  The trees, I think Magnolias, were shedding their white, pink-lined blossoms like snow, with no breeze to cause this.  I sat down on the benches to soak it up, the petal-covered ground and pedestal bird feeder looking as a beautiful wedding.  As petals fell on my clothing I thought of the Scripture, from Revelations, that goes something like, “the wedding feast of the Lamb has begun; the bride has made herself ready, adorned with the finest of linen glistening and pure..”
      At the Mayo, I lay in bed one day in particularly excruciating pain.  My memory was after the first surgery but before they had found and acknowledged the perforated secum (ruptured bowel). The pain meds were not cutting it much at all.  I couldn’t pray or use words well in my head.

       Every split second was beyond any pain level I had ever experienced, including five childbirths with no painkillers or epidurals.  I couldn’t even hold up one hand by itself toward God, so I took my hand I was trying to hold up and barely held it up at the wrist, with my other hand. 

       We had been listening daily to a song Abby Evans, my niece and caregiver, kept playing for me called “I Surrender,” by Hillsong (the 12-minute concert version on Youtube is the best).  It goes:

I surrender,

I surrender,

I want to know you, Lord

I want to know you, Lord.

Like a rushing wind,

Jesus breath within,

Lord have your way,

Lord have your way,

Innnn Me.

Like a mighty storm

Stir within my soul,

LORD, HAVE YOUR WAAYYY,

LORD, HAVE YOUR WAY,

INNNN, MEEEEEE.”

It gets pretty intense!

       I was trying to sing this song with intensity in my head, and then praying: “Have your way in me, have your way in me, have your way in me, have your way in me,...  You could stop this if you really want to; you must be willing this.  Have your way in me, have your way in me, I say yes, have your way in me. I offer this for the canonization of Dorothy Day!  For the canonization of Peter Maurin!  Then almost screaming in my head too – “I do this for ______’s SALVATION!” (one of my five children who is an atheist).
      That’s when it happened. Eyes closed, with my hand barely pointing upward from my abdomen, I was suddenly touching something warm, round, and slimy, with a sharp-edged metal piece coming out of the top.  I opened my eyes in my mind and it was the foot of Christ on the Cross.  I couldn’t see the other foot, I was in such close proximity.  I looked up and could not even see His knee, the bright blinding light from above was so intense, completely swallowing the entire room.  I was almost instantaneously drawn into an inferno of pain, like fire all over my whole body, wracking, and boiling my skin. Later when I was remembering, I recalled that the most intensity was in my palms and feet.

      Simultaneously, there was a burning in my heart for Christ as I have never experienced, equally as intense as the pain. I felt this ferocious love for me as well, my direction. I could only hold on for probably 8-10 seconds or so, maybe 15, before letting go.  THIS had been 100 times worse than my pain.  When I “came back,” although still in a GREAT deal of pain, I took a nap!  It was NOTHING, nothing in comparison, not even in the same galaxy, as this pain Christ led me through.  Nothing in my life from this point on will ever compare, even if I were to be crucified somehow.  Christ had had the “sins” of the world rip through His wounds and His torture - not just metaphorically, but physically. 

      My love for Him was forever changed, transformed to heights I did not think possible.  It was a gift, a gift. Just brace yourself if you say or sing that you want to really know Him, as in the song, and to have His way in you. It is almost too much for us to bear, his level of love for us. Those who wanted to walk closely right up with Christ, his beloved Apostles, to know Him, love Him dearly as a friend, learn from Him, and follow Him closely, were all martyred.  The exceptions were Judas Iscariot and John (although his "martyrdom' may have been the worst if he touched Christ's foot as support, but even if not, witnessing what he did!).  These grueling deaths though were after living incredible lives of great joy in the Spirit, building His Kingdom on Earth. Better yet, now they are at His side forever, seeing His beautiful beautiful face, laugh, Spirit.

        In this Holy Jubilee Year of Mercy, perhaps it is a very good time to undergo a genuine and thorough examination of conscience for the forgiveness of our sins with the following list I created mainly from the 10 Commandments and the 7 deadly sins.  Pope Francis asked each bishop to designate a Holy Door to pass through in this special year, to gain unfathomable mercy.  Fr. Schalk said to try to get to mass, confession, pray for the Pope's intentions, and the rosary (?) all in a five-day window before or after passing through the door.  Fr. Denis Kigozi suggested to make it a "pilgrimage" by going to the 11:45 daily mass at St. Pat's, go to confession there, walk to the cathedral and go through the Holy Door, and walk back to St. Pat's.  It is the door at the far left once inside the front at St. Joseph's Cathedral.

      St. Teresa of Avila, in her book, Interior Castles, humility was needed in all the chambers of our castle, our soul.  We need to revisit it at every room. Self-examination of conscience and constant re-examiniation of conscience (true humility) are at the heart of all virtue.  As St. Teresa said, Humility must always be doing its work like a bee making its honey in the hive:without humility all will be lost […] 
      I think of St. Paul, and after having had a particularly torturous scourging, was singing praises to God even after midnight in the jail, chained heavily (against his wounds in dirt and skin agitation), when the walls shook and the chains fell off everyone.  He stopped the guard from killing himself, and was “cleaned up” at the guard’s house before baptizing him, showing he was quite a mess.  Wow, singing praises in this situation, not knowing his fate too. 

   This is my new motto for 2016, from my niece, Bernadette Rodgers, “Make my sacrifice perfect.”  It goes hand in hand with the Old Testament reading today (Feb. 4), of advice from King David on his deathbed to his son, Solomon: “Take courage and be a man.”  Fr. Schalk shared at the Christ the King Women's Retreat mass how we women are to play that role of Mary - to help men be real men, or man-up.  She nudged Christ to perform His first public miracle at Cana, and to the burly stone jar carriers (that held 20-30 gallons of water) to be ready and "Do whatever He tells you." 
    I hope to no longer be a whining, complaining gal this year, but to be a grown woman in the Lord, ready to act and do His most perfect Will as best as I can, no matter how difficult. Like a Dominican at St. Thomas, my New Year's Resolution is to let God be God and do exactly what He is going to do anyways before I start complaining.  And to try to do it with praise, joy, and peace in my heart, in love and in admiration for Him.  Nothing in this life is more difficult than His suffering on the cross.

In the Benedictine "Collect" prayers for Feb. 6:

"Lord God,

the Cross reveals the mystery of your love:

A stumbling block indeed for unbelief,

but the sign of your power and wisdom to us who believe.

Teach us to contemplate your Son's glorious Passion

that we may always believe and glory in his Cross."
      Why is this taking so long - both for this city to have a bona fide Catholic Worker community and for the Canonization (and recognition) of Dorothy Day (and hopefully Peter Maurin)?  The answer seemed to come to me through St. Thomas Aquinas, and Fr. Blau, at St. Pat's.  St. Thomas pondered why in the world God took so long to come to earth, when he noticed the genealogy of generations before Christ (during Advent readings).  
     Aquinas came up with three reasons for the delay.  First, God wanted to teach His statues, to write His law on their hearts (you know how Christ didn't want everyone blabbing about the miracles for everyone to come running for the show and not for the message and teaching). 2. He wanted to purify His people through long-suffering, endurance, perseverance, etc, and 3. He wanted to herald many times through prophets because it was such a BIG deal. They would know He was from God (and is God).  Who better finally than St. John the Baptist to do this through?
       On that note, I thought, first, God wants to teach people about the Catholic Worker - and people have been given a lot of misinformation.  It is so beautiful, so pure, so modeled after the Early Church!  Second, He wants to purify the Catholic Workers, myself included, back to the original charism, mission, holiness, and living out, of Dorothy Day and Peter Maruin's vision.  This is just as St. Francis and St. Dominic had to call back into focus what it means to be Catholic during their era; moreoever, St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross had to call Carmelites back to their original beauty and holiness. 
      Finally, God seems to want to herald this ahead of time for it to truly flower even more in this country, and definitely in this diocese.  FOUR popes praised Dorothy Day from Paul VI who invited her to the Vatican for a special visit and blessing, to Pope John Paul II who opened her cause for canonization, to Pope Benedict XVI Emeritus who spoke of her two different times of day in his final day as pope; and now His beloved servant, Pope Francis in his speech to Congress (when he mentioned her name four times).  So to teach, to purify, and to herald Catholic Worker, according to His most perfect Will, timing, and plans.  God's Will be done, nothing more and nothing less.

           That Harry Hagan! He is a Benedictine monk (so this is his legal name, not his monk name) out of my abbey, the St. Meinrad Archabbey in Indiana.  He wrote the following hymn in my "Liturgy of Hours for Benedictine Oblates" page 192:

My prayer window at dawn

Resplendent Light  
1. Most splendid and resplendent Light, O Brilliance overwhelming night, You bring to light all things concealed; In You is all the world revealed.

2. True Light and bearer of the Light, True Galaxy beyond our sight, O Morning Star announcing day, Revealing all in just one ray.

3. More glorious than the sun's bright light, And more mysterious than the night; You shine within the inmost heart, Revealing all its secret parts.

4. May our desire with love unite, Our love reveal your purest light. Make us glad temples of your praise, Our lives a mirror of your ways.

5. O Christ, the uncreated Light, To you be glory, praise, and might;  the Father's sole begotten Son, The Spirit's Word: God Three in One.   (c 1999)
GOING   INTO  THE  DESERT WITH CHRIST THIS LENT

There is something about going deep into the desert with Christ this Lent, for forty days and nights, to wrestle with our own demons, head on, like Christ

 To face our temptations and weaknesses squarely,  and bring them all out in detail, as Christ. To sort through them, deal with them, and conquer them, with Christ.

  Demands of Immediate Prayers Answered -  If you are the Son of God, command these stones to turn into bread, Satan said to Jesus.

  Power  and Greed  - I will give you the "world" you want, in power, glory, and grandeur, if you will bow down and worship me, Satan said to Jesus.

  Invincibility and Testing/Doubting of God's True Providence - If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from this high pinnacle of the Temple, for  you claim God will save you, Satan said to Jesus. 

  One must remove oneself from all the noise, people, activity, and distraction of the world and of everyday life this special time of year to go into the harsh conditions of the desert, for a short while.  To hear the voice of God alone, the direction of God alone...

When I was young, and deciding to marry, I went on a 6-day silent retreat to make sure I was not going to become a sister (nun).  On that retreat were two women in their early 50's who had similar early paths.  Both had been asked to marry and both had been in the convent.  One felt called to the religious life and the other, to that of a wife and mother.

  While picking their brains at lunch, quietly of course (they only sat with me once :), they were both insanely contented and happy.  This was the first two-week silent retreat of the sister, but was about the 30th of the mother of nine!  Her husband knew her disposition toward the religious life and agreed to give her a 2-week silent retreat every year of their marriage!  It was an amazing witness to me!  What a witness it is to our own adult children.  What is more important, our health?  Fixing our homes?  A vacation at the beach? 

   Some people dynamite will not even get to a silent retreat, but if you feel the tug by Jesus, 30 minutes away from CK in Columbus, Ohio is the Children of Mary Mother House near Newark.
   If you cannot get away to a deserted place and rest with the Lord, "cultivate silence" as Fr. Schalk always says.  Try to read an entire Gospel each Lent, to truly truly enter into Christ's spirit, Christ's way and manner, His opinions, teachings and even commandments.  He is the Word Made Flesh.  It is Him you embrace when you embrace His Word wholeheartedly.  
     My Grandma Naomi always taught my father from a young boy to be certain to live this, if you live anything in the Bible: "The 10 Commandments and the Red Print."  In her Bible, Christ's words were in red print, when His love ran red. Having been raised Methodist, she knew the words of Christ like the back of her hand, long before Catholics were encouraged to read them on their own and know them.
      In the spirit of Lectio Divina, a deeper way of delving into the New Testament is to read the Gospel each day slowly three times.  Let it, let  Him, seep deeply into your soul.

       

The Vatican Holy Door (left) at St. Joseph's Cathedral, the
other is an outer door there symbolizing the doors we
must go through to get to the Holy Door, like the chambers
 of our soul in St. Teresa of Avila's Interior Castles

        I happened to go on an amazing retreat a couple of weeks ago put on my Christ The King, involving about 50 women.  It was entitled "Forgiveness."  In this Holy Jubilee Year of Mercy there comes a time that to receive this amazing mercy from God, you have to know your sins, confess your sins (in a thorough confession), and promise to sin no more, and to FORGIVE OTHERS, extending to others this theme of mercy as well.  
        One cannot receive mercy unless one knows one's sins, admits to them, and makes a conscious effort to "Go and sin no more," as Christ beckoned the woman caught in adultery.  One also cannot expect forgiveness if he or she does not forgive others.
      Here are the ones ("sins") I came up with, similar to the ones on the CK retreat.  They had been cut into individual strips, folded over and stapled so that we could not read them ahead, prayed over, blessed with holy water, and put at the tabernacle table for us to come up and be lead to the one that was meant for us.  Just see which ones jump out at you on the list, you'll know where you are being prompted by the Holy Spirit. 
       The forgiveness stretches to yourself as well.  We can sometimes be the most hard on ourselves and our own mistakes.  While humility is a very good thing, beating oneself up over things can be harmful to our soul.  Sorting through our lives, our priorities, our sin to conquer is difficult and confusing alone, so if you have never had spiritual direction from a priest, this is the year!  This would be a sit down appointment kind of like a confession.  Typically a priest wants to know the whole story of your life, summarized, to begin being your spiritual director.  He will help you toward forgiveness, of others and of yourself - and to receive mercy and direction.  Don't wait.

Holy Door Poster at the Cathedral
Pope Francis asks bishops to deem a
Vatican Holy Door in each Diocese

Lenten Examination of Conscience
Hold. Your. Tongue. A forest fire is begun by one spark of the tongue, as Jesus said.

Careful what you view online or on your cell phone.

Watch gluttony.  Do you eat healthily?  Do you eat too much? Do you waste money on fast food?

What are you lazy with spiritually?  Do  you study scripture daily? Do you pray a couple of regular times per day?  Do you want God to answer your prayers according to His Plan?  

Wrath.  Do you have anger issues -  Even in your thoughts, against people?  Do you harbor grudges and judgments, even little ones?

 Envy/Jealousy - You need to watch and stop harboring jealousy against others.  It is poison. The Pharisees and Sadducees were full of it , as was Saul of the Old Testament and others.  It leads one to hate.

You envy others' abilities and talents.  Stop.  You have just as many and need to manifest them!

Pride - What must you control?  What do you take so much pride in that you have overstepped the bounds of allowing the Holy Spirit to do HIS main part?

Vain Glory - Do you do your part for recognition and praise?  Or do you do it for Christ?  Humility is one of the very best of virtues! Can you take the lowest place and pass the limelight to another?

Do you have a lying tongue?  Do you paint yourself as great and others as less than good?  You ARE great, and so are they!  Gossip creates judgment and disdain in your heart and in the world.

You are stepping too close to sin at times.  Jesus said if you even come near sin it will spring and bite YOU before you know it.  Avoid all near occasions of sin.  It is easy not to sin, just avoid the near occasions.

Sloth - How much time do you lay around or watch TV?  You could live in total grace and freedom by using more time in Scriptures, religious books (like of saints), and at Eucharistic Adoration. (There are at least 3 perpetual adoration chapels 24/7 any day of the week).

Do you honor your father and/or mother?  Grandparents?  Do you visit them and make them feel loved?

Do you covet your "neighbor's" goods, neighbor meaning anyone's? Do you long for material goods you see and do not have, more than you long for a close relationship with God.  Do you work for them more than you work on your relationship with God, spending time with Him?

Beware not to harbor Wrath.  Do you have anger issues -  Even in your thoughts, against people?  Do you harbor grudges and judgments, even little ones? 

"Covet" means only to want. Beware not to covet another's spouse or encouraging the covetousness of yourself by someone else if you and/or they are married to another in the eyes of the Church.

Keep holy the Sabbath. Rest.  Refrain from all work and activity as God commands. Learn from Orthodox Jewish people.

Guard against greed. Risk using and giving more of your income for God, like the poor widow who's last donated coin was the greatest gift to Christ.

Parable of the talents.  Are you hiding yours under a bush?  What gifts and desires do you have that you could use to build the Kingdom for Christ? Do not hide them anymore!

Do you help bring friends and family to holiness in your speech, actions, humor, work place recreation places, home, and faith life?

You're perfect.  You don't have any sin.  :)  Do you have self-deception as to sin in speech you do yourself or participate in?  Does it uplift or bring down?  Does it bring others closer to Christ?

Do you need to forgive more?  Think of the Our Father as saying this: "Forgive me, O Lord, only as much as I forgive everyone."

Stop judging so harshly.  They have issues you know nothing about.  I love them as much as you.

Do you lust after anyone in your heart?  Jesus said that he [or she] who even looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. It could be a man if you are a woman.

Are you impatient or inhospitable at times with people?  At work, home, with friends and family?  Do you show impatience?  Jesus said that you are nothing but a noisy gong or clanging cymbal if you do not have love, which is first and foremost, patient and kind.
      

         This retreat (on Forgiveness) was amazing for those of us who have suffered greater hurt, pain, and scarring than the average person.  The best one-liners I found are below.  I hope they help you!

Forgiveness

Christ the King Women's Retreat  Jan. 15-17  2016

Forgiveness is the basis of every relationship.

We do our forgiveness alone; what happens to the people we forgive is up to them.

The 1st person to benefit from forgiving is the one who does it.

We forgive what they do, the sin is what they do and not for what they are.

Choosing forgiveness is a decision.

One definition of forgiveness is willingness to abandon one's right to resentment, revenge, grudges, etc..

WE DO THE FORGIVENESS IN OUR HEARTS -- WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TELL THEM.                   [This was very very freeing for me!]

FORGIVENESS IS A JOURNEY:

 --- THE WORSE THE PAIN AND HURT, THE LONGER IT TAKES

--- THE DEEPER THE WOUND, THE LONGER IT TAKES

WE DON'T FORGIVE BECAUSE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO,

WE FORGIVE BECAUSE WE ARE READY TO BE HEALED.

IT DOES NOT MEAN WE HAVE TO TRUST THEM.  [Freeing!]

WAITING FOR THEM TO SAY THEY'RE SORRY TO BEGIN TO FORGIVE IS SURRENDERING THEM POWER.  WE DON'T WANT TO GIVE THEM THAT.             [Freeing!]

When we forgive, we set a person free - us!  we walk in stride with a forgiving God.

When we forgive we rediscover humanity.

When we forgive we surrender our thought to get even, and we wish them well.

Forgiveness is for you, not the person you are forgiving.

You become a hero instead of a victim.

Forgiveness does not let anybody off the hook, does not excuse poor behavior.

Forgiveness does not mean denying or minimizing the pain.  You don't have to give up your feelings.

To forgive does not mean you have to get back into a relationship with them.    Reconciliation is different than forgiveness.        [whew!]

It's okay to avoid those who cause us to sin, or at least lead us at times toward sin.  We can steer around them, when possible.  We can forgive them and avoid them, and this is a loving and faith-filled thing to do.

Grievance Story - We all have one.  Something we tell ourselves over and over again about what a person did or what we did.  A gripe or complaint. Some for decades.  Let it go!  They don't even remember it. 

Grievance Stories are blame stories of when we get frustrated that certain things don't or didn't happen. We don't let it go.  Do you have a grievance story?

We have many assumptions that people can't or don't live up to, unforseeable rules.  What unforseeable rule are you living by, that really isn't fair?  People commit things you consider a mistake by your rules, but it is not always a mistake at all. 

forgiveness shows strength,

it is not a weakness.

Someone else is not responsible for our feelings: "You made me so mad," this is not possible.  we make ourselves mad over something.  Instead of saying, "I want this_______ or this person to be different!" We can say, "I hope and pray this _______ will be different."  We have to pray more for them, with hope.

If you are in disagreement with someone in your family and wish to reconcile, each of you should write a letter to the other.  "I forgive you for ____," and "Please forgive me for ______."

Forgiving ourselves: We need to practive self-forgiveness before we can offer forgiveness.  We can be hardest on ourselves. Do we have to be perfect?

If we can accept the truth that we are forgiven, and not live with guilt and shame, we would really be free, and our freedom allows us to forgive others.           Henri Nouwen

YOU CAN'T GIVE AWAY WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE.

Jesus said, "Let anyone who is without sin cast the first stone," and "neither do I condemn you now go and sin no more."

Holy Door Experience and the Miracle at this retreat! Hold Your Tongue.  
St. Maria Goretti, brutally stabbed to death at 12 by a young worker on the farm who was attempting to take advantage of her, chose, before her death two days later, to forgive him.  He had no remorse until she came to him later in a dream and handed him 14 day-lillies, one for each of the stab wounds. Though the rest of her siblings had to be put in an orphanage, the mother also forgave him.  After serving nearly a lifetime in prison, he came out and served a small role in a religious order.  If she can forgive the man who brutally killed her, a child, and her mother forgive him, than you can forgive ANYTHING. 

Prayer Spot Wall Reflection 

 Here is another inspirational lenten gift to you!
Sacred Heart Convocation  Oct. 31, 2015, St. Catharine's

Fr. Stash Daley's Exerpts:

"He wants to enter into the heat and humidity of our humanity.

Silence is the Lord's language.

The Lord is always with us.  He walks with us, runs with us.

Crawls with us.

What fluctuates is our receptiveness,

our listening to His voice,

and our attentiveness to Him.

The one constant though, is that Jesus is always with us.

We need to pay attention to Him.

We need to offer our children up to Him [Hannah in the Temple with Samuel?].

One tragedy:  Thinking that the way we are now is as good as it gets.

He has a love that is COMPLETELY UNCONDITIONAL.

St. Mary Margaret was saddened by how much everyone around her had self-hate,

and that the self-hate was bigger than the love of Christ.

She knew this was wrong.

We have such brokenness.  Overwhelmed with trying to self-diagnose, ...

instead of giving it over to the Lord.

We need each other,

as witnesses,

to help each other.

Blow up at Him before someone else.

I take all the bills and put them at the tabernacle, and say,

'You want this house, you pay the utilities.'

He gave a story about how the gas was turned off for the sisters, but the gas man came somewhat miraculously...

DO NOT WORRY!   LOVE!

The Lord offers peace to our homes.

Highlight saying, 'Thank You, Lord,' 'Praise you Lord!' throughout your

whole day.

The Lord will provide.

As we draw closer and closer to Jesus Christ there will  be pushback.

We modern Christians have become lame, ...

jump ship to another if everything does not work out the way we thought.

The evil one whispers, 'You are alone.'

Don't preach Christ, LOVE HIM,

 LISTEN to HIM at Eucharistic Adoration.

If you want a home in His heart,  make His heart in your home." 
Happenings of the Lamb:

Martin Luther King III and I at the MLK Memorial Awards
Dinner, January, 2016, Columbus, Ohio
(Great pacifist like his father!)

Fr. Brune and I at our Oblate Epiphany party. If
you had candy in your cake, you became
a "king" and helped pass out presents.

--- Yes, we are still praying fervently for the canonization of Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin!  Please, Pope Francis, please!  I was able to hear an amazing talk by Martin Luther King III in January (yes, a full beautiful pacifist like his father!) to an audience of over 700 teachers.  Talk about forgiveness!  His father was assassinated when he was ten (doing beautiful things for the world) and his grandmother was brutally gunned down playing an organ in church when he was 15!  He chose to forgive, in the name of his father and his grandmother who taught him that (along with his grandfather).  He chose only to love and to forgive. What an influence we parents and grandparents have on virtue and holiness!  The opposite is true to - what an influence we have in supporitng "justified homicide" in war, where some human life is deemed not sacred or made in God's image and likeness.  I asked him and he is considering to write a letter to Pope Francis himself to please go ahead and canonize Dorothy Day.  Pray! 
         Interesting how history may be made in the regular activity of going to a normal teacher event, a MLK dinner put on by our union, and by chance meeting MLK III who may help spurn on this canonization.  Great things can be underway in normal everyday circumstances, as Fr. Blau pointed out during Advent - how God Himself came into the world in such an unimpressive way as a little poor baby.  God's big movements are in the ordinary; some small gesture or normal natural event can be God's grandest movement.
         Funny also how I may end up being the miracle needed to canonize both Dorothy and Peter since I relied heavily on their intercession through all of this. Nearly or all of those undergoing this risky and dangerous live liver donor surgery - and require a second emergency surgery - usually die, according to the research of those at the Transplant House.  Part of the reason is that the large right lobe of my liver donated to my relative was sliced from top to bottom, an open-face thin section of it, to grow it back.  I had thought it had to be cut off at the base, or blood vessels, like a bush trunk.  My relative was given the giant piece, open-faced as well, to grow another large right lobe, to have enough to live on (he is much taller than I am). 
      The risk of infection is high without complications, being that bile is produced in the liver, with its own drainage system, and things get mixed that should not be.  I gave him half my bile ducts as well.  If bacteria, etc, and infection do get into the blood stream, more often than not it is fatal. The difficulty though is finding stats on this rare surgery, since they do not need to report as with other medical items.  There is a 1 in 200 to 1 in 300 chance of dying for the donor always, according to the program at the Mayo, in cases with no surgical complications.
---  I want to thank everyone for all the prayers that helped pull Nick and I through this summer and fall!  We could not have without you!  Special thanks to my caregiver at the Mayo, Abbie Evans.  Words cannot describe how amazing and constant her love, kindness, and muscle work was at the hospital!  Especially the big lift to get me out of bed, not splitting open my extensive (11 in.) abdominal stitches when I was massively swollen.  It was grueling for her and there is a special place in heaven for her! She worked off all her Purgatory time!  Also a deep heartfelt thanks goes to my dear sister, Lisa, who went through quite a lot between her son and her sister at the Mayo and after!  
--- I have put together a Lamb Catholic Worker Library of many Catholic Worker, social justice, and peace books, with many also about the lives of the saints, richly Catholic ones, and deeply spiritual books for the borrowing.  If you would like to donate any, please do!  Thanks Egle Weiland!
--- Yes, we are still in need of workers, money, properties, and the like.  Good news, my basement is ready to take in a homeless family as soon as I find a wonderful worker in the field.  Beg the Harvestmaster for more workers, as Christ said.  
--- I am in my final few months of my novitiate to become a Third Order Benedictine (Benedictine Oblate) in April out of the St. Meinrad Archabbey in Indiana.  Dorothy Day was a Benedictine Oblate, and many Benedictine monasteries and abbeys of monks are praying for her canonization.

Clare Schaefer-Duffy, a life-long Catholic Worker who,
 with her husbnad, Scott, raised four children in their CW
survives a massive limb falling on her small car with her in it!
The split gigantic limb fell around her body, not hurting her.  

Take Up Thy Cross

Take up thy cross, the Savior said,
If thou wouldst my disciple be;
Deny thyself, the world forsake,
And humbly follow after me.

Take up thy cross, let not its weight
Fill thy weak spirit with alarm;
His strength will bear thy spirit up,
And brace thy heart and nerve thine arm.

To Thee, great Lord, the One in Three,
All praise for evermore ascend;
O grant us in our home to see
the heav'nly life that knows no end. Amen

From the Liturgy of the Hours for Benedictine Oblates, St. Meinrad Archabbey, P. 184